Give Me a Freakin’ Break!

I would love to make my first post in a very long time one of clever insight, great content, and pithy sayings. Instead I will whine about how other people whine on their blogs.

****I am a big fat meanie in this post. You have been warned. If you don’t like it you can’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s my blog, and why should I be the only person who doesn’t post self-indulgent, meaningless, uninteresting crap on her blog?****

This post makes me a big fat hypocrite, because I whine on my blog all the time when I can be bothered to write in it. I actually have interesting things to write about in my blog instead of whining, because I have been out living my life. Unfortunately, I have no time to write about the interesting stuff, because I have been out living my life. Now that I have free time for a few minutes, I will spend time whining about myself as a whiner, and other people as whiners. I’m such a whiner.

I did have time to do slacking Google (http://www NULL.google NULL.com) searches, however, and came across a blog about someone who had infertility problems, got IVF even though she couldn’t really afford it, and was busily complaining about how badly everything was going. The whole infertility thing is a hot subject, and I’m reluctant to comment on how I specifically feel about it — even though I’m already an asshole here, because I don’t feel sorry for a person who couldn’t have kids, and so made herself very sick and poor so she could have one, then was unhappy about it. Still what struck me is that the woman wanted to know how much she had to “prostrate herself to the universe” (I think those were the words) in order to “deserve” to be a mom.

Well, it sounds like she got what she wants, but now she “don’t want what she gots.” Something I learned in my mid-20’s or thereabouts: Life is not about what you deserve. People never get what they deserve. Really nice people get shit on all the time, and supreme bottomfeeding pursesnatching assholes get Mazeratis and six figure incomes. It’s not about “deserve”, it’s about your response to the hand you’re dealt in the cosmic card game of the universe.

The Ancient Greeks had this concept of fate, which was really “whatever the gods want to do with you.” The gods put you on sort of a “fate wave,” which left untampered with, would deal out to you over your lifetime a certain amount of happiness and a certain amount of suffering. It was only when you tried to mess with it, i.e. take more than your fair share of happiness, that you increased your suffering. We are dealt whatever life we are dealt. This doesn’t mean we should not use our talents and abilities to try and live the life we desire, but sometimes we need the self-knowledge to realize when something we want is our fair portion – that is, our lot in life – and when we need to adjust our response to the hand we’ve been dealt.

Or in other words, if you have a phenomenal verbal SAT score but your math score is low to average, don’t go to college with the intention of becoming a Mathematics PhD with a specialty in differential equations. According to the Greeks, you will only bring suffering upon yourself.

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3 comments to Give Me a Freakin’ Break!

  • Brien

    I don’t think that whining on a blog is bad – in fact, that’s what most blogs are. It’s a great outlet for frustrations and also a nice way for your friends to pat you on the back and secretly think “Hey, my life may be kinda shitty, but so is theirs.” However, I think that what you are complaining about aren’t the incidental little events that suck between the moments of happiness, but rather people complaining about their lives in general, like the whole universe is out to get them. Quite frankly, the universe just doesn’t give a crap about any one person that much – the kind of screwing over that these people talk about is just too much effort. The only people who has that much vested interest in screwing up those people’s lives that much are the individuals themselves. I’ve got something going on in my life that, if it comes to pass, will very much suck for me for the next 20 years or so, but I don’t think there was a conspiracy behind it, and if I rant about it it certainly won’t be in the context of “why does my life suck so much.” I agree with you to a certain extent – people are responsible for the situation in their lives, even though there may be events in their lives that are beyond their control. It’s what you do with what you can control that makes the difference.

    I do wish I could rant like this on my blog, but it’s down. I’m not upset that it’s down, because I could do something about it (like fix the server it was running on), but my desire to blog is not as great as my desire to be lazy, even if it prevents me from posting what I consider witty observations (like how my robotic vacuum is like a pet) or any intellectual pursuits (like the haiku I wrote involving my robotic vacuum and a sock that is in my bad graces). The part I disagree with (which may not even be what you believe) is the ancient Greek belief in fate. I think we make our own fate, even though there are lots of things beyond our control. I think there are still things that we can control, enough of them to still be masters of our destiny. And I would still argue that if your SAT scores suck in math and you really want to be a PhD in Mathematics, more power to you. That’s what makes great people great. It’s also what makes the people who fail really, really miserable, and there are a whole lot more people miserable than there are great. But that’s OK – just understand that for everything we do, there’s a consequence for it.

    Hey, whine all you want about whining, I’m glad to see you are still kicking around. Take care!

  • midnightferret (http://www NULL.midnightferret NULL.com)

    You’re pretty smart – but It looks like you need to fix your blog. We should do lunch soon!

  • Brien

    Yeah, I know, I’m just really lazy. I could definitely do some lunch (even if I definitely could afford to NOT do some lunch) – give me a call!

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