Making Up (Your Mind) Is Hard To Do

I have always been terrible at decision making. I am often just as stymied by what to wear and what to eat as I am by major decisions, such as whether to go to the doctor for something, or lately, where to move. I’ve wanted to put a recipe section on my blog, but I can’t decide if I should just have a recipe category with sub-categories for each type of recipe, or if I should have an entirely separate recipe blog. After Katrina, we couldn’t decide where we wanted to move when we got the money. We kept changing our minds. Incidentally, we finally made a decision, but we aren’t going to tell too many people until we actually are ready to move. This is mainly because every time we’ve said to a bunch of people, “We’re moving to _____ ,” we’ve changed our minds almost immediately after doing so.

Still, I never anticipated that after making a decision I would find something even more difficult to do: wait. I have decied to go to graduate school but have to wait until NEXT fall because we were so up in the air after Katrina, and we really need to make some money for a while. It took me 10 years to make up my mind on what to do with myself, but now that I know, it’s a looooong road from here to there. We know where we’re going to move but we have to save up enough money to move. I hate waiting. It was almost better when things were scary and unpredictable. Almost.

If I were home, and by home I mean in New Orleans before the hurricane, I wouldn’t worry about it. I would go around the corner and get a tallboy and something to cook for dinner. Then I would sit on my front porch and drink the tall boy and think that everything was unfolding as it should. I wonder if anyone here would let me borrow their front porch?

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